Dear Jochebed, dont know how long i hvnt been visiting my own xanga, just feel like typing something on this blog again... ppl hate lame passages, i recommend you not to read this thing below... y m i typing words down? any particular reasons? dont knw/...just finished scanning through my old blogs...n i found tht... I was once an interesting girl, young lady may be? at least, when i was reading some of the passages, i was in love with tht girl, m i a bit narcissistic? >< I m longing for my old days, i guess...i want myself bk...i know it s a bit ambiguous...but i really do... but the question s , m i still tht innocent n interest girl tht i once was? i hv learnt a lot since thn though... i knw myself well enough to say tht i m such a girl tht 'think wt she has thought, has done'...n this problem gets even worse, after she looked bk, she had actually done nothing at all...she had thought via all those things at least once though....for example, whn she looks at the photos of others travellin somewhere very beautiful, she d enjoy for quite a long time, thn...she imagines she s there as well? ridiculous? yeh... whn she knws she hs to do something, she thinks she has done it....n whn she s asked by some 'authorities', she can hand out nothing.... sigh...anyway...i know i have a great life, blessed family, friends, and recently...someone special suddently popped in, into my life, who i appreciate so much...in someway...n suddently i think, i still need time to adapt in many ways... i want my life to be fruitful, wonderful, even jealoused by others..bcos of God has given my so many things...tht i knw i hv to give bk!! i will never forget the Jabez appointment, DoE, BHSG, PYC, SPKPS, UoY, Halifax, Families, Frds.....oh, may b i hv forgotten some...but i m sure i still miss thm unconsciously.... tht's y, starting from tmr, i want my wonderful life bk!! i knw may b soon after i make this promise, i will break it, at least i reli wana try... ok now frds...i m gona list some of thm out, if u c me nxt time, try to ask if i get any of thm done....k? (i will just randomly list thm out, nothing special abt the order) 1. go everywhere nice n beatuiful in the uk to take photos!! may b out of the uk also? 2. do some drawings, art work... 3. hv a nice meal with my family, paid by me, may be? 4. find my frds tht i hvnt seen thm since ages ago, n some i wana see thm so much but i didnt hv the gut to ask thm out again...sorry for those i didnt meet up with, n i wil hv to leave hk soon, in 3 wks ... i reli miss u guys though!!!! every single one of you!! (ths s exactly one symptom of the above problem tht i hv, i think i want to meet u guys, n i think i hv already meet u guys...ahha...=___=) 5. print out some photos frm the old days n write down some memories...s i m so scared tht i d forget most of thm as time flies.. 6. wana switch off the cell phone, computer, anything tht may let anyone to reach me for 1 day!! enjoy the real silence/ music/ sound of this world 7. play music, hold my guitar once again, or even try to play piano again 8. i know i m such an ambiguous person....i wana b in ppl n flee frm thm at the same time!!! this doesnt count as a thing tht i wana do i guess.... 9. get bk to the holy bible, read through it once again n experience God many times during so... 10. watch a great musical/ drama/ movie...tht i will remember for the rest of my life 11. learn how to love, care, listen, read, revise, help......sorry for the lack of vocabs... anyway...i hv no regret being 1 of the human beings on this whole wide world, n i would like to knw more about the macro n micro sides of it!! May God and my surrounding ppl help me to do so. Thank You!! love, Jochebed | 